One of the things I enjoy the most about being in the States for six months is all of the information on local and national sports teams. It is possible to see some games in Australia, but only on cable, and they will only show a select few games. So I soak in all of the sports info that I can during furlough.
One of the ways of doing this is listening to sports talk radio. Now I don’t agree with everything that is said on these stations (especially when the fans call in) but most of the talk radio programs are very informative. But something that I heard on one of those stations yesterday made me think about spiritual growth.
Tedy Bruschi is a linebacker for the New England Patriots, a professional football team. Yesterday after playing with them for thirteen years he called a news conference to announce his retirement. Following the news conference they played a portion of what he said that stuck in my mind.
Bruschi began talking about a sign that was inside the facility where the team trained. Although everything on that sign was important, one phrase stuck out to him as a player. It was simply the three words, “do your job”. Towards the end of his retirement speech he turned around and said to his coach, “my job is done.”
Discipleship is something that the Lord has given me a deep burden for. Because of this I read lots of books and articles on the subject of Christian growth. At times it can get really confusing because each book seems to have a different way of mentoring people and motivating them to serve the Lord (and sometimes it seems as if each author thinks that their way is the only one which works). This is not only confusing but also frustrating since all of the growth philosophies are founded upon Scripture.
Those three words “do your job” spoke to me this morning as I thought about Christian growth. Maybe we are making it too complicated or confusing for people. Perhaps all the steps, charts, graphs, and alliterated outlines are actually making things worse! Is it possible that all a person needs to follow in order for growth to come is “do you job”?
Now each one of us have specific callings from God for our lives. But many times the Lord also has certain things which he desires for us to accomplish each day. And growth could simply involve finding out what those things are, and doing them. The graphs, charts, and mission statements are also useful, but only if they lead us towards the accomplishment of the goals God has for our lives.
Maybe it is more complicated than just doing your job. But there is still a part of me that wants to complete the Will of God for my life through his strength. So that someday I can say to Him that the job is done.
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Put The Sledgehammer Away
One of the greatest challenges I face in ministry is the issue of motivating people to do things for the Lord. This is especially true because many people have adopted a relaxed worldview. Basically it means that they have a laid back attitude about life in general.
Personally I see some benefits of this attitude because it keeps a person from over reacting then things don’t go their way. Also it usually allows the person to have an area of “margin” in their life (extra money, time, energy). Of course if taken to an extreme that same attitude can lead to complete laziness.
Another drawback of this lifestyle is that it becomes very hard to motivate someone to do anything that goes above and beyond the average commitment. The question then becomes, “how do we motivate those people so that they will attempt to achieve greater things?”
Many people prefer a sledgehammer when motivating someone to action. By this I mean they share verses of Scripture and then go into great detail about how the listeners aren’t obeying God’s Word. Often the goal is to make a person feel guilty (or possibly convicted) about this wrong, and become motivated to change.
It is my personal opinion that this kind of motivation doesn’t work well most of the time. Now observe that I didn’t say it doesn’t work (I believe that it does) but that this philosophy doesn’t work well. A number of times this kind of motivation will lead to action on the part of those listening. But that commitment doesn’t last long. Often the decision is forgotten and abandoned a few weeks later.
Does this mean we shouldn’t confront people strongly with the Word of God? Absolutely not! There are definitely situations where proclaiming the truths of Scripture in an unapologetic way are demanded. This is especially true when dealing with “strong willed” (which is a nice way of saying stubborn) people (like myself). We should definitely keep the sledgehammer in our toolbox, but maybe it just shouldn’t be the first tool we reach for.
My other observation about the sledgehammer method is that in a number of cases it is the person who does the job of confronting. Again, I absolutely agree that Scripture needs to be taught in a powerful and uncompromising way. But it is the job of Holy Spirit to convict people (John 16: 7-11). And the Word of God is the tool of God to convict individuals (Hebrews 4:12).
The problem with the sledgehammer philosophy is that often it results in our doing too much. I believe that it is the job of a teacher or preacher to clarify the meaning of Scripture. This allows the Holy Spirit to use that truth to convict the hearts of others. While there are situations that require a more direct confrontation, our responsibility is point the eyes of people to God through the text.
When I begin to give personal opinions on issues or directly confronting sin then I am in danger of overstepping my bounds as a minister. For in a sense I am trying to do the job of Holy Spirit by making people feel bad so that they will change. And yes this may lead the person to change, but often it is one that they do in their own strength, which in the end creates a worse problem than before. The sledgehammer is a very useful and necessary tool in the ministry, but it must be handled with great care, and skill. So don’t throw your sledgehammer in the trash can, and make room for it in your tool box. Just make sure it isn’t the first thing you reach for.
Personally I see some benefits of this attitude because it keeps a person from over reacting then things don’t go their way. Also it usually allows the person to have an area of “margin” in their life (extra money, time, energy). Of course if taken to an extreme that same attitude can lead to complete laziness.
Another drawback of this lifestyle is that it becomes very hard to motivate someone to do anything that goes above and beyond the average commitment. The question then becomes, “how do we motivate those people so that they will attempt to achieve greater things?”
Many people prefer a sledgehammer when motivating someone to action. By this I mean they share verses of Scripture and then go into great detail about how the listeners aren’t obeying God’s Word. Often the goal is to make a person feel guilty (or possibly convicted) about this wrong, and become motivated to change.
It is my personal opinion that this kind of motivation doesn’t work well most of the time. Now observe that I didn’t say it doesn’t work (I believe that it does) but that this philosophy doesn’t work well. A number of times this kind of motivation will lead to action on the part of those listening. But that commitment doesn’t last long. Often the decision is forgotten and abandoned a few weeks later.
Does this mean we shouldn’t confront people strongly with the Word of God? Absolutely not! There are definitely situations where proclaiming the truths of Scripture in an unapologetic way are demanded. This is especially true when dealing with “strong willed” (which is a nice way of saying stubborn) people (like myself). We should definitely keep the sledgehammer in our toolbox, but maybe it just shouldn’t be the first tool we reach for.
My other observation about the sledgehammer method is that in a number of cases it is the person who does the job of confronting. Again, I absolutely agree that Scripture needs to be taught in a powerful and uncompromising way. But it is the job of Holy Spirit to convict people (John 16: 7-11). And the Word of God is the tool of God to convict individuals (Hebrews 4:12).
The problem with the sledgehammer philosophy is that often it results in our doing too much. I believe that it is the job of a teacher or preacher to clarify the meaning of Scripture. This allows the Holy Spirit to use that truth to convict the hearts of others. While there are situations that require a more direct confrontation, our responsibility is point the eyes of people to God through the text.
When I begin to give personal opinions on issues or directly confronting sin then I am in danger of overstepping my bounds as a minister. For in a sense I am trying to do the job of Holy Spirit by making people feel bad so that they will change. And yes this may lead the person to change, but often it is one that they do in their own strength, which in the end creates a worse problem than before. The sledgehammer is a very useful and necessary tool in the ministry, but it must be handled with great care, and skill. So don’t throw your sledgehammer in the trash can, and make room for it in your tool box. Just make sure it isn’t the first thing you reach for.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
My Very Long Journey
One of the questions I am most often asked is how the Lord led me to Australia. The only way to answer that is by by sharing my personal testimony of how God worked in my life. This story used to be a central part of my ministry presentation but after being on the field the focus is placed upon my present and future ministry. The story of God’s leading me to the mission field is relegated to an introduction that takes less than five minutes. Unfortunately the story takes place over fifteen years so I sort of have to move through it at warp speed.
Because of this I decided to share my personal testimony in a more unedited (meaning long) fashion. By that I mean it takes four and a half pages so I won’t be offended at all if you don’t read it. Many of you have already heard my story and are probably tired of listening to it so I decided to write a long post for my blog explaining it in detail. It is my prayer that this testimony will uplift and encourage you in the Lord. Also that it will focus your mind on the faithfulness of God.
The Lord began a great work in my life on easter Sunday night 1992. Dr. Wayne Fulton, pastor of my home Church Salem Baptist, was preaching on the need for men and women who would make a difference for God. To this day I honestly can’t remember the passage that he used for this message. I do however remember God touching my heart through the Holy Spirit and challenging me to become one of those people who were completely committed to him.
At the time I refused to give the Lord control of my life. This wasn’t because I selfishly wanted to satisfy my own desires. Instead there was a feeling in my heart that God couldn’t use me. Basically I believed along with many other people the lie of Satan that I was worthless. This wasn’t “low self esteem” but instead a form of pride that enjoyed feeding off the pity of others. I understand now what a sinful response this was, unfortunately as a ninth grader I didn’t. So instead of submitting to the Lord I left Church that night feeling sorry for myself.
After arguing with God all the way home I finally decided to give him complete control of my life. At the time I still didn’t view myself as much more than worthless, but honestly felt God could still use me. To this day I will never forget kneeling beside a white wicker chair in the patio at my parents home and giving the Lord control of everything in my life. That moment is burned in my mind because after rising from that chair in my heart I knew that the Lord would use me. This wasn’t a charismatic “voice” or wind moving through the trees. I simply knew that the Lord would use me for his honor and glory.
For probably the first time in my life I had confidence in my heart. This was because I saw myself as a child of God instead of a worthless piece of trash. At the time I felt as if God would begin using me in a power way soon. Although the following years gave me opportunities to glory if the Lord, that chance to be used didn’t come for many years.
During my remaining three years of High School God challenged me to become more of a leader spiritually. Those years were very important because up until that time I was very quiet and introverted. I jokingly tell people that I had the social life of a large rock, but that wasn’t too far from the truth. It was wonderful to see the God give me the confidence and strength to become the leader he wanted me to be.
During four years of college (1995-1999) I honestly expected God to show me his will for my life as in where to serve as a missionary during college. Actually he placed a calling upon me to begin planting churches in New York City. I had the opportunity to go there on a missions trip in the summer of my freshman year and felt the Lord really working in my life.
Also during college the Lord gave me a deep burden for discipleship. Specifically this had to do with teaching deep truths of the Word of God in a practical way. There are many people in the U.S. and especially other Nations who desire teaching from Scripture but don’t receive it. As I learned many lessons during college classes the Lord broke my heart over those people in need.
In 1999 I graduated with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Biblical Studies. In my mind it was now time to become actively involved in ministry, but the Lord did something strange instead. He completely took away the burden that I had for New York City. Within a few weeks I knew that ministering there was not God’s Will for my life. Unfortunately I had not idea what was God’s Will!
This was obviously very frustrating for me because you want to have a clear idea of your future after graduating from college. But when I asked God for direction he challenged me to continue my education. This as you can imagine was not what I wanted to hear. But after fighting it for months I began classes for a Masters Degree while at the same time having no idea where the Lord wanted me to serve.
In 2003 I received my Masters Degree from Piedmont Baptist College’s Graduate Division. Towards the end of that time the Lord began putting the idea of serving in Australia within my mind. He also put a peace in my heart that this was definitely his will for my life. While this was encouraging a part of me wanted to see the Lord keep the promise he had made eleven years before in 1992. That is use me in a powerful way, not so that I could show everyone how powerful I am, but in order to bring Glory to God.
Before that happened The Lord challenged me to quit my job and retire from the work force at twenty seven in order to do raise support full time. This was another test of my faith because I was going $300 in debt each month since support was not high enough to financially care for my needs.
I can remember the day after I quit my job driving part way to a meeting in Florida. Laying on a bed in a motel room in Georgia writing my first real prayer letter. You can imagine that it would have consisted of the words “send money now!” in extremely large font! But instead all I could do was write about the peace of God that was in my heart.
A few months later I went to Australia for three and a half weeks in February 2004. It was during that time the Lord placed the city of Melbourne on my heart in a real way. And God used me in a powerful way so that Christ could be honored, keeping the promise he made in 1992. But that wasn’t the most moving thing he did during my time there.
I had the opportunity during my visit to see a new missionary come to the field for the first time. I was surprised to see a large group of Australians waiting around the doors which separated customs from the actual airport. When the missionaries came through those doors the Australians rushed forward, jumping over the barrier that was supposed to separated them, and embraced the new workers. I stood at the back crowd and looked forward to the day when I could come through those doors and be embraced by the Australian people. Basically Melbourne Australia became my home, the place where my heart was, in February 2004.
Almost three years later on January 10, 2007 at approximately 10:00 pm I walked through those same doors that separated customs from the main airport. This time not as a visitor who was coming to stay for a month, but a missionary who would live and die in Melbourne. What’s the point of my story? SImply that God is faithful. It took about fifteen years for me to become a full time missionary in Australia. But I can honestly say it was worth every year, month, day, hour, and second of waiting now that I am in the center of God’s Will for my life. May God bless and care for you my friends on your own very long journey, and keep you faithful.
Because of this I decided to share my personal testimony in a more unedited (meaning long) fashion. By that I mean it takes four and a half pages so I won’t be offended at all if you don’t read it. Many of you have already heard my story and are probably tired of listening to it so I decided to write a long post for my blog explaining it in detail. It is my prayer that this testimony will uplift and encourage you in the Lord. Also that it will focus your mind on the faithfulness of God.
The Lord began a great work in my life on easter Sunday night 1992. Dr. Wayne Fulton, pastor of my home Church Salem Baptist, was preaching on the need for men and women who would make a difference for God. To this day I honestly can’t remember the passage that he used for this message. I do however remember God touching my heart through the Holy Spirit and challenging me to become one of those people who were completely committed to him.
At the time I refused to give the Lord control of my life. This wasn’t because I selfishly wanted to satisfy my own desires. Instead there was a feeling in my heart that God couldn’t use me. Basically I believed along with many other people the lie of Satan that I was worthless. This wasn’t “low self esteem” but instead a form of pride that enjoyed feeding off the pity of others. I understand now what a sinful response this was, unfortunately as a ninth grader I didn’t. So instead of submitting to the Lord I left Church that night feeling sorry for myself.
After arguing with God all the way home I finally decided to give him complete control of my life. At the time I still didn’t view myself as much more than worthless, but honestly felt God could still use me. To this day I will never forget kneeling beside a white wicker chair in the patio at my parents home and giving the Lord control of everything in my life. That moment is burned in my mind because after rising from that chair in my heart I knew that the Lord would use me. This wasn’t a charismatic “voice” or wind moving through the trees. I simply knew that the Lord would use me for his honor and glory.
For probably the first time in my life I had confidence in my heart. This was because I saw myself as a child of God instead of a worthless piece of trash. At the time I felt as if God would begin using me in a power way soon. Although the following years gave me opportunities to glory if the Lord, that chance to be used didn’t come for many years.
During my remaining three years of High School God challenged me to become more of a leader spiritually. Those years were very important because up until that time I was very quiet and introverted. I jokingly tell people that I had the social life of a large rock, but that wasn’t too far from the truth. It was wonderful to see the God give me the confidence and strength to become the leader he wanted me to be.
During four years of college (1995-1999) I honestly expected God to show me his will for my life as in where to serve as a missionary during college. Actually he placed a calling upon me to begin planting churches in New York City. I had the opportunity to go there on a missions trip in the summer of my freshman year and felt the Lord really working in my life.
Also during college the Lord gave me a deep burden for discipleship. Specifically this had to do with teaching deep truths of the Word of God in a practical way. There are many people in the U.S. and especially other Nations who desire teaching from Scripture but don’t receive it. As I learned many lessons during college classes the Lord broke my heart over those people in need.
In 1999 I graduated with a Bachelor of Arts degree in Biblical Studies. In my mind it was now time to become actively involved in ministry, but the Lord did something strange instead. He completely took away the burden that I had for New York City. Within a few weeks I knew that ministering there was not God’s Will for my life. Unfortunately I had not idea what was God’s Will!
This was obviously very frustrating for me because you want to have a clear idea of your future after graduating from college. But when I asked God for direction he challenged me to continue my education. This as you can imagine was not what I wanted to hear. But after fighting it for months I began classes for a Masters Degree while at the same time having no idea where the Lord wanted me to serve.
In 2003 I received my Masters Degree from Piedmont Baptist College’s Graduate Division. Towards the end of that time the Lord began putting the idea of serving in Australia within my mind. He also put a peace in my heart that this was definitely his will for my life. While this was encouraging a part of me wanted to see the Lord keep the promise he had made eleven years before in 1992. That is use me in a powerful way, not so that I could show everyone how powerful I am, but in order to bring Glory to God.
Before that happened The Lord challenged me to quit my job and retire from the work force at twenty seven in order to do raise support full time. This was another test of my faith because I was going $300 in debt each month since support was not high enough to financially care for my needs.
I can remember the day after I quit my job driving part way to a meeting in Florida. Laying on a bed in a motel room in Georgia writing my first real prayer letter. You can imagine that it would have consisted of the words “send money now!” in extremely large font! But instead all I could do was write about the peace of God that was in my heart.
A few months later I went to Australia for three and a half weeks in February 2004. It was during that time the Lord placed the city of Melbourne on my heart in a real way. And God used me in a powerful way so that Christ could be honored, keeping the promise he made in 1992. But that wasn’t the most moving thing he did during my time there.
I had the opportunity during my visit to see a new missionary come to the field for the first time. I was surprised to see a large group of Australians waiting around the doors which separated customs from the actual airport. When the missionaries came through those doors the Australians rushed forward, jumping over the barrier that was supposed to separated them, and embraced the new workers. I stood at the back crowd and looked forward to the day when I could come through those doors and be embraced by the Australian people. Basically Melbourne Australia became my home, the place where my heart was, in February 2004.
Almost three years later on January 10, 2007 at approximately 10:00 pm I walked through those same doors that separated customs from the main airport. This time not as a visitor who was coming to stay for a month, but a missionary who would live and die in Melbourne. What’s the point of my story? SImply that God is faithful. It took about fifteen years for me to become a full time missionary in Australia. But I can honestly say it was worth every year, month, day, hour, and second of waiting now that I am in the center of God’s Will for my life. May God bless and care for you my friends on your own very long journey, and keep you faithful.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Finances or Relationships?
As a missionary I am in a interesting position as it relates to my needs. The Lord gives me the opportunity to share prayer requests publicly when presenting my ministry in the form of prayer requests. And it may seem strange to some of you, but I have really wrestled which prayer requests I should share.
Obviously almost every missionary is in need of financial support. Even those who are able to live comfortably on the finances they receive would like to receive more because of the ever increasing costs of living. During deputation my ministry presentation climaxed with a request for financial support, or prayer that the Lord would supply my needs.
I still have financial needs and desire new support. But that is no longer the thing which I ask people to pray for. Most people would understand that there is a financial need anyways so there is no real need for me to share it. So instead of challenging them concerning support I ask for something which is actually much more precious. That’s people who would be partners with me in my ministry.
Now allow me to briefly explain what I mean by this. Many missionaries encourage people to sign up for their prayer letter each month. And once each month they send a ministry update either by email or regular mail to the supporters. I currently do this with a number of people. But there is a desire in my heart to have sort of a stronger relationship with those people. One where we would communicate back and forth with each other during the month.
This could involve a lot of different things like sharing prayer requests, or blessings from the Word of God. Or maybe just telling someone that you are having a bad day. Almost all of it would be electronic (facebook, skype, blog, twittter) but even that electronic communication can minister to the hearts of others.
Last weekend I spoke at a supporting Church in Maryland and it got me really thinking about this. I expected some people to remember me since I had been there before and they supported my ministry. But I was totally overwhelmed by the love and acceptance that they gave to me. I actually developed some close friendships in that short amount of time (Saturday night to Monday morning) and those friendships were a great encouragement to me.
The church also sent me home with the largest check that I have ever received in my ministry. But I could have returned with nothing and my heart would have still been filled with joy. For in the long run having friends who will stand by you in the hard times is much more important than finances. And many years after the money is gone those close relationships will be stronger than ever.
I had the chance last Friday to talk with a close friend about my ministry. We were discussing what the Lord did through me in Australia and the burden he had placed upon my heart. I finally asked her to tell me what in her mind discipleship, or mentorship was all about. She answered by telling me people wanted to be loved and accepted.
That conversation and my experience last weekend encouraged me to focus my energy on developing closer friendships with those who receive my prayer letters so that they will truly become partners in my ministry. For it is ridiculous to focus on financial needs while much more important ones are left unmet.
Obviously almost every missionary is in need of financial support. Even those who are able to live comfortably on the finances they receive would like to receive more because of the ever increasing costs of living. During deputation my ministry presentation climaxed with a request for financial support, or prayer that the Lord would supply my needs.
I still have financial needs and desire new support. But that is no longer the thing which I ask people to pray for. Most people would understand that there is a financial need anyways so there is no real need for me to share it. So instead of challenging them concerning support I ask for something which is actually much more precious. That’s people who would be partners with me in my ministry.
Now allow me to briefly explain what I mean by this. Many missionaries encourage people to sign up for their prayer letter each month. And once each month they send a ministry update either by email or regular mail to the supporters. I currently do this with a number of people. But there is a desire in my heart to have sort of a stronger relationship with those people. One where we would communicate back and forth with each other during the month.
This could involve a lot of different things like sharing prayer requests, or blessings from the Word of God. Or maybe just telling someone that you are having a bad day. Almost all of it would be electronic (facebook, skype, blog, twittter) but even that electronic communication can minister to the hearts of others.
Last weekend I spoke at a supporting Church in Maryland and it got me really thinking about this. I expected some people to remember me since I had been there before and they supported my ministry. But I was totally overwhelmed by the love and acceptance that they gave to me. I actually developed some close friendships in that short amount of time (Saturday night to Monday morning) and those friendships were a great encouragement to me.
The church also sent me home with the largest check that I have ever received in my ministry. But I could have returned with nothing and my heart would have still been filled with joy. For in the long run having friends who will stand by you in the hard times is much more important than finances. And many years after the money is gone those close relationships will be stronger than ever.
I had the chance last Friday to talk with a close friend about my ministry. We were discussing what the Lord did through me in Australia and the burden he had placed upon my heart. I finally asked her to tell me what in her mind discipleship, or mentorship was all about. She answered by telling me people wanted to be loved and accepted.
That conversation and my experience last weekend encouraged me to focus my energy on developing closer friendships with those who receive my prayer letters so that they will truly become partners in my ministry. For it is ridiculous to focus on financial needs while much more important ones are left unmet.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
We Can Do More Than Just Survive
Evaluation is a very good thing in life. But sometimes we may be evaluating ourselves with a standard that is far too low so that it is easier to achieve our goals. I was thinking about that truth this morning because one of my goals during my six month furlough is growth. Part of this involves looking at what I did well during the first term of service in Australia. And more importantly it means finding what I could do better.
An important part of evaluation is to have a standard which you measure yourself with. A standard can be made up of things like Scripture passages, Bible Characters, family members, friends, or mentors. From time to time we will then check how we measure up to those standards. If there is room for improvement then it will motivate us to put forth more effort. And if we are currently living up to the standards set then there is little need for growth.
But what if our standards are set too low? Is it possible to live our whole lives trying to accomplish certain things only to find later that we should have accomplished more? What triggered these thoughts was a three and a half mile run I had with my brother Michael (age 29) and a good friend Glenn (age 24).
Both I and my brother were not in the best of shape. So it was slightly encouraging when we finished averaging a ten minute eighteen second mile. Running a ten minute mile is a good average, especially for someone who is out of shape. Glenn on the other hand ran a nine minute eighteen second mile which is of course one minute faster than the rest of us.
What makes this feat more incredible is the fact that for the first half of our run Glenn was right with me and Michael. This means he ran the second half at least one minute faster than the first. Imagine what he could have done running the entire three and a half miles at that speed!
Glenn had very a very different goal (standard) than the rest of us. Our goal was to simply survive the run without collapsing. He had the goal of running a very fast time and beating what he had done in the past. Now having making my standard survival is just fine when we are talking about running for more than three miles. But what if simply surviving becomes my goal for other areas of my life?
Let’s say that I make this the standard by which my ministry in Australia is evaluated. If my goal is simply maintain status quo will there be any growth? Doing what everyone else is doing isn’t always a deep sin, but it is if I could do more. If I am settling on just surviving instead of running ahead then according to Scripture I am in sin.
This doesn’t mean I travel to the other extreme and become a spastic individual who acts without thinking. Instead it means that I am very careful to do more than the status quo whenever possible. And maybe set my standards a bit higher as time passes. It is necessary to do this because of all God has done for us. And many times we can do much more than just survive.
An important part of evaluation is to have a standard which you measure yourself with. A standard can be made up of things like Scripture passages, Bible Characters, family members, friends, or mentors. From time to time we will then check how we measure up to those standards. If there is room for improvement then it will motivate us to put forth more effort. And if we are currently living up to the standards set then there is little need for growth.
But what if our standards are set too low? Is it possible to live our whole lives trying to accomplish certain things only to find later that we should have accomplished more? What triggered these thoughts was a three and a half mile run I had with my brother Michael (age 29) and a good friend Glenn (age 24).
Both I and my brother were not in the best of shape. So it was slightly encouraging when we finished averaging a ten minute eighteen second mile. Running a ten minute mile is a good average, especially for someone who is out of shape. Glenn on the other hand ran a nine minute eighteen second mile which is of course one minute faster than the rest of us.
What makes this feat more incredible is the fact that for the first half of our run Glenn was right with me and Michael. This means he ran the second half at least one minute faster than the first. Imagine what he could have done running the entire three and a half miles at that speed!
Glenn had very a very different goal (standard) than the rest of us. Our goal was to simply survive the run without collapsing. He had the goal of running a very fast time and beating what he had done in the past. Now having making my standard survival is just fine when we are talking about running for more than three miles. But what if simply surviving becomes my goal for other areas of my life?
Let’s say that I make this the standard by which my ministry in Australia is evaluated. If my goal is simply maintain status quo will there be any growth? Doing what everyone else is doing isn’t always a deep sin, but it is if I could do more. If I am settling on just surviving instead of running ahead then according to Scripture I am in sin.
This doesn’t mean I travel to the other extreme and become a spastic individual who acts without thinking. Instead it means that I am very careful to do more than the status quo whenever possible. And maybe set my standards a bit higher as time passes. It is necessary to do this because of all God has done for us. And many times we can do much more than just survive.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Is it always the Teens Fault?
How do you motivate teenagers? That is a very hard question to answer, and it is very possible that there is no one way to answer it. Yet as an individual who works with youth I feel it is an important subject to discuss.
Yesterday I began by looking briefly at the two different methods of motivating young people in the Church today. The first is basically to demand that they do whatever Scripture says without any discussion. The second challenges us to love them and earn their respect. In time the respect will cause them to obey our teaching.
Both of these methods are a bit flawed in my personal opinion. The first is much better because Scripture is used prominently, but it lacks love or grace. The other uses huge amounts of love with little Scripture or confrontation. It is important that we find a view of motivation which combines the best of both methods.
Before we begin talking about that though there is one very important truth to get across. That being, it isn’t always the teens fault. In other words, if there is a problem motivating individuals, all of the blame usually can’t be placed upon those youth.
Now granted there are some young people in youth groups who honestly don’t care about God at all. But most of the time there aren’t any overly rebellious kids. And since all of the blame usually shouldn’t be placed upon them, where should it go? That’s right, on the people who teach them.
One of the most powerful influences on a teenagers life is our expectations of them. These are the things that we expect them to do (bring a Bible to Church on Wednesday night, don’t use the Lords name in vain). If we place very high expectations upon them then they will rise to meet those requirements. But if we set very low ones the youth will meet those as well.
One thing I have noticed over the years in my ministry is that I many times have placed too low expectations on the youth I work with. It comes from the idea that teens are always going to be immature and unable to live up to high standards before graduating from High School. This philosophy is discussed thoroughly (and proven wrong) in the book “Do Hard Things” by Alex and Brett Harris.
When we place low expectations on youth then that makes us part of the problem. This is illustrated by a story told by Pastor Andy Stanley at a leadership conference. He was talking about having a problem getting his two sons to take the trash bins back to the house on trash days.
His house was at the top of a hill so going down to get the bins and bringing them back up became a task that Mr. Stanley’s sons obviously didn’t look forward to. So on trash days it became a weekly ritual for Andy to tell his sons four times that the needed to go get the trash bins.
He recounts coming home one day to find the bins had not been taken in and becoming angry. But then he realized that he was partly to blame for what had happened. Every week this pastor would tell his sons four times to get the trash before actually getting serious enough to threaten them with discipline. By doing this he basically trained his sons to believe that Dad really didn’t mean it until he says get the trash bins for the fourth time.
Realizing he had had placed low expectations on his sons Stanley decided to do things differently. He took both of the bins up by himself without saying anything to his sons. One of them saw him doing this and asked why he had decided to complete their job. “No reason it just needed to be done” he replied. He then said, “oh by the way, I get your allowance this week”. He never had a problem with their not taking in the trash bin again.
It is true that some of the motivation problems are the result of immaturity or rebellion in the hearts of young people. But perhaps it is necessary to take a long hard look at ourselves before pointing an accusing finger at them.
Yesterday I began by looking briefly at the two different methods of motivating young people in the Church today. The first is basically to demand that they do whatever Scripture says without any discussion. The second challenges us to love them and earn their respect. In time the respect will cause them to obey our teaching.
Both of these methods are a bit flawed in my personal opinion. The first is much better because Scripture is used prominently, but it lacks love or grace. The other uses huge amounts of love with little Scripture or confrontation. It is important that we find a view of motivation which combines the best of both methods.
Before we begin talking about that though there is one very important truth to get across. That being, it isn’t always the teens fault. In other words, if there is a problem motivating individuals, all of the blame usually can’t be placed upon those youth.
Now granted there are some young people in youth groups who honestly don’t care about God at all. But most of the time there aren’t any overly rebellious kids. And since all of the blame usually shouldn’t be placed upon them, where should it go? That’s right, on the people who teach them.
One of the most powerful influences on a teenagers life is our expectations of them. These are the things that we expect them to do (bring a Bible to Church on Wednesday night, don’t use the Lords name in vain). If we place very high expectations upon them then they will rise to meet those requirements. But if we set very low ones the youth will meet those as well.
One thing I have noticed over the years in my ministry is that I many times have placed too low expectations on the youth I work with. It comes from the idea that teens are always going to be immature and unable to live up to high standards before graduating from High School. This philosophy is discussed thoroughly (and proven wrong) in the book “Do Hard Things” by Alex and Brett Harris.
When we place low expectations on youth then that makes us part of the problem. This is illustrated by a story told by Pastor Andy Stanley at a leadership conference. He was talking about having a problem getting his two sons to take the trash bins back to the house on trash days.
His house was at the top of a hill so going down to get the bins and bringing them back up became a task that Mr. Stanley’s sons obviously didn’t look forward to. So on trash days it became a weekly ritual for Andy to tell his sons four times that the needed to go get the trash bins.
He recounts coming home one day to find the bins had not been taken in and becoming angry. But then he realized that he was partly to blame for what had happened. Every week this pastor would tell his sons four times to get the trash before actually getting serious enough to threaten them with discipline. By doing this he basically trained his sons to believe that Dad really didn’t mean it until he says get the trash bins for the fourth time.
Realizing he had had placed low expectations on his sons Stanley decided to do things differently. He took both of the bins up by himself without saying anything to his sons. One of them saw him doing this and asked why he had decided to complete their job. “No reason it just needed to be done” he replied. He then said, “oh by the way, I get your allowance this week”. He never had a problem with their not taking in the trash bin again.
It is true that some of the motivation problems are the result of immaturity or rebellion in the hearts of young people. But perhaps it is necessary to take a long hard look at ourselves before pointing an accusing finger at them.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
